It's the way the tears don't come anymore
And the way I can stop myself before your name slips past my lips at night
Like a thief in the dark, stealing my chances at being okay.
I'm finally starting to get angry at you, though I said I wouldn't -
I couldn't quite help it; you left me here after all
And you're just fine.
It's the way I can wake up in the mornings and only a flicker of hopelessness crosses my mind at you not being next to me;
The way I don't love you as loudly as I did when you first left,
I'm calmer about it than I was then
And I'm smiling a bit more each day.
No, I'm not okay - don't get your hopes up
Because yes, I'm still sad,
And I still miss you just as much;
I still love you, of course.
But everything is a bit quieter now -
Not silent, no, yet not near as deafening as it was.
And for that, I am grateful.