Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Battle.

I've lost weight, and at first it didn't really matter
Sure, I noticed and knew it was happening
But now I'm looking at myself in the mirror
Wearing a new bikini
And thinking
"Five more pounds or so, and I'd look spectacular".
This is where it gets dangerous -
Being predisposed to addictive habits:
Nicotine, alcohol,
Who's to say that weight-loss can't be one of them?
And it's not that I think I'm fat...
I just think I could be improved.
Everyone wants to be better than they are,

Monday, June 20, 2011

You just made my entire summer.

You're coming back for a visit
And I've been buzzing since it became official,
Not sure if my natural reaction to you being within arms-length
Is the correct one to have.
I've stopped caring, though,
I haven't been this excited in such a long time.
You're my best friend,
And just the idea of getting to see you
Puts me completely over the moon.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


I like when it's midnight where you are; you're sleepy,
And you tell me you miss me in that quiet voice
It tugs at my heart-strings, and sounds familiar chords deep within
Aching bones
Guitar strings and song lyrics play in my dreams
And waking up is starting to get harder again
But it's all worth it, just to hear you say those words.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Happy 6 Months (or what would have been)

There's something you should know and
I'm so sorry but
I know nothing I say can
You please forgive me I
Didn't mean to let it go this far you
Know how much I miss you even though
You just simply left me here to deal with
Us it was so much different we
Could both feel it but
YOU left it not
Me and I've been
Thinking too much while
Inhaling too much nicotine when
The tears won't come because
Everything is compressed into
Myself and I can never
Let any of any of this out
In the open, that's where I want this at
Least I should tell you that the
Place where you and I, and our two hearts, meet is
The spot I'm looking for on these deserted streets while
You're there, and you know I'm hurting and
You know that
I'm feeling so
Anxious and heartbroken which
Adds up to this feeling
Of utter loneliness.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

<<|, | |, |>

I have to stop doing this to myself -
Believing that if I just DO the right combination of things
My life will come back together again.
And I don't mean moving on -
I mean getting my life BACK.
I want to relive late November, early December
And the months that followed,
Like a track on repeat
Except it would skip at April -
Just go back to the end of November
When everything was okay
And play again.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Leaky Eyes.

More to add to the list of things I can't tell you but that I can tell this blog
(You'll never actually read this stuff anyway)
I woke up this morning because I heard your voice say my name
Impossible, I know,
But it woke me, thankfully, before I was late to work...
And I thought you'd come back;
I was so excited.
Then I realized that 800 miles wouldn't have changed in 8 hours
And, of course, that I'm nothing to come back for anyway.

I really thought I was done crying over all of this.