Saturday, July 30, 2011

Pure Moment.

I'm in this new place
And it doesn't smell like cigarettes
Or spilled vodka
Or coffee
Or you.
It doesn't even feel like you;
I'm not sure if this is good or not,
But I'll surely find out
Sometime within the next
12 months.

I still miss you,
This I do know.

Monday, July 25, 2011

I wrote this for you (my creative writing class).

Your eyes, and their habitability:
Earth-like worlds, full of mountain-tops and golden sands;
Crystal blue liquid water, ne'er a violent storm brewing between
Those brows placed perfectly on an energetic face.
My heart and these eruptions. O, explosions! Of love and things
That pain and sorrow cannot touch.
Tonight we are the only two stars in the galaxy
And, for once, being dwarfs isn't negative -
It is an e'er present reminder
That we are but particles:
Small, alien,
Not even a ripple in the ocean of our world
Yet we call it home
Because home is wherever your heart is
And we have each others:
Polar opposites are magnetic.
Quite the spectacle we'd be,
Though everything is distant
But that doesn't matter anymore.
All that does is what is,
And we are an aurora:
Making everything beautiful
One night at a time.

Loquacious is a word.

I've been begging for a change
So I started drinking my coffee
With less sugar
And I've contemplated picking up tea.
Not Southern, sweet tea
But real tea.
For culture.
Subtle shifts, yes,
Though it's the start of something.
After all, I can't write a short story, a poem,
Or even start the novel in my head
Without feeling nostalgic and weepy,
And pretending to be an artist is killing me
(my paintings were never what they should have been)
I'm proud of what I've done,
But it's never been great -
I'm not good enough to be a girlfriend,
And I've always been too hurt by that.
So I'll start drinking tea
And pretend to be alive.
I'll keep painting too,
Because I've obviously never been great
At giving things up, right?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Problematic schematic, life.

Like you'll understand the thoughts in my head
Spinning vortexes and wild tornadoes
I'm good but never good enough
And you sit there and play the victim.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Candy.

I wonder how long it will take until
I start believing in the Southern peach sweet lies
That drip liquid sugar slow
From my sour cherry tongue.
How long before I start to invest in the
"I'm fine"'s and "Everything is Alright"'s
As opposed to just letting them soak into your mind...
Could I let them invade mine?
My mom always said that too much candy was bad for me;
Is that also how it works for lies?
I'd rather have rotten teeth than a ruined soul.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

So you say that no one knows how to disappear anymore?

I used to think it was simple
Back when I was 16 -
Just pack my bags and go,
But nothing's ever that easy.
Life throws curve balls and
It never follows your plans
Though no one seems to know
How to follow through with anything
Anymore
Anyway.
Except you and I, that is -
Fading from each other
Like snow melts from the earth
And leaves fall slowly from trees.
Our colors are changing
And the 800+ miles separating
Us are just becoming a wall;
Eventually not even words will
Be able to cross the distance
Because even language loses its meaning
Somewhere between 14 hours, two states,
And love that knew no bounds and
Then found some that it came to know
All too well.

Friday, July 8, 2011

The terrible thing about seeing someone new.

You get used to sleeping next to someone
And then you can't fall asleep when you're by yourself;
It's tragic.
Let's try not to get attached -
No one's ready for a relationship in this town
And who needs labels anyway?
They're for child's play
And we've grown up...
I think.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Something about walking away.

I never believed I could do it -
Leaving you stranded in my dust as I sped away
Wondering if
You might actually deserve this fate:
Losing the one thing that you cared about.
You called it payback
I guess you think I'm vindictive,
But I'm not.
This is just the reality of our lives,
The way they played out without us ending up together
Like I used to desperately hoped for;
I suppose it's something like walking away from
A ticking time-bomb that you somehow managed to diffuse
In the final seconds right before everything you knew
Exploded in your face.
Liberating, yet somehow knowing that I hurt you
Doesn't feel so great.



I know I did the right thing.  It's what had to happen, and I'm glad it finally did.