I've been begging for a change
So I started drinking my coffee
With less sugar
And I've contemplated picking up tea.
Not Southern, sweet tea
But real tea.
Subtle shifts, yes,
Though it's the start of something.
After all, I can't write a short story, a poem,
Or even start the novel in my head
Without feeling nostalgic and weepy,
And pretending to be an artist is killing me
(my paintings were never what they should have been)
I'm proud of what I've done,
But it's never been great -
I'm not good enough to be a girlfriend,
And I've always been too hurt by that.
So I'll start drinking tea
And pretend to be alive.
I'll keep painting too,
Because I've obviously never been great
At giving things up, right?